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Elmer's First Law of Global Warming

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Elmer's First Law of Global Warming or "The Chicken Little Syndrome" is:

After an unusual warm spell, some people think that means the globe will burn up, so they run around screaming "The Globe Is Warming! The Globe Is Warming!"

Elmer's Second Law of Global Warming

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Elmer's Second Law of Global Warming or "God Is In Control" is:

Whenever the mainstream media comes out and says that Global Warming is for real, we get hit with unusually cold weather.

For instance today's cover of the Startribune, which mentions on the same page an extended cold wave coming, and that the earth is burning up. Yesterday USA today had a photo of the globe in a frying pan with the heat on and it was 5ยบ.

And lets not forget the now infamous January 1996 Newsweek Global Warming Cover Story that came out during the blizzard of the century. Newsweek later blamed the blizzard on Global Warming. This put a big dent in the Anti-Global Warming movement, and they were forced to start calling it "Climate Change".

Elmer's Third Law Of Global Warming

Elmer's Third Law Of Global Warming Is:

Most Global Warming occurs during the summer.

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